i used to think I was living life how we’re ‘supposed to.’  [insert – what our culture and society values = the formula to success]. i moved from the Midwest to San Francisco. i had the career, the clothes, the apartment, lots of travel (for both work and fun). I had ‘it all’ but it never quite felt like enough. i was numbed by the busyness of life and work - my very own addiction of always doing. i didn’t realize it at the time but i was focusing on all of the surface level things - everything but myself.

a few years later, my mom suddenly passed away. i now realize, this is the moment, the impetus, the catalyst of what changed my life. i would later see that it was greatest gift, wrapped in sorrow. it changed the way i would think, what I believed, how I loved and who/where I chose to spend my time. my grief has been a portal for compassion, growth, healing and it still is – grief never ends, but it changes.  

i’m reminded again and again of the connection between grief and alchemy. grief has been the catalyst for my healing, my liberation, my awakening – and how I choose to live today, shifting from strength to softening, from doing to being, from existing to living.

you don’t have to wait for a catalyst to change your life – you can make changes at any moment… for any reason. big or small. do the thing that scares you. do the thing you dream of, choose to live another version of your life, or at least, live life on your terms – aligned to your values, not what the world tells you. go with what lands softly in your body - not only what makes sense in your head.

it’s cliché, but life is short. nothing lasts forever. we cannot hold back, waiting for the moment to [fill in the blank] – the only thing promised is the present moment.